Normal Schmormal....

I know the saying "Normal is only a setting on the dryer" or whatever.... but doesn't the heart, the head try to judge, discern what is normal, what is not normal?

"That's not normal" is a phrase we use often.  Normal = what we expect it to be, to act, to seem.

We see differences.  And that isn't necessarily bad.  It's part of childhood development. The struggle is then to embrace and enjoy differences.

Eric isn't "normal". He is different.  There's no way getting around that extra chromosome and all that it brings with it. Most of the time he IS "normal" to me.  I don't see the differences.  But when they are made evident, it almost shocks me and I have to readjust to best meet him where he is at.

We got the report back from his evaluation.
Cognitive - 18-19months
Language - 18 month
Gross Motor - 15 months
Fine Motor- 15-18 months
Self-help - 17months
Social-emotional - 18 months
Eric is 26 months old.

Do you want to know how much this breaks my heart?!?! I am raging, I am crumbling, I am broken, I am confused, I am wrestling. My head and heart want Eric to be "normal"!  Because these delays and the behavior issues that come out of this... hurt...

And don't misunderstand... I absolutely ADORE my son, and all my children, and all their differences. In fact, many of their differences are what is endearing to me.

Awana is starting at our church tonight and as I realized he is old enough to be in the youngest age group, Puggles, I freaked a bit.  Yes, he is old enough but is he ready?  Are his needs going to be met when he can only communicate at an 18 month level?  Is he going to be able to interact and respond to the activities? Will he express his frustration if he can't?

Thankfully we have an amazing church that loves Eric and loves us.  They are assigning him a "helper".  And I have the kind of relationships with the leaders that will facilitate open communication.  And if he truly isn't ready or is a distraction we will handle that appropriately.

I don't know how TO DO the best, BE the best for my son.  I can try my hardest, but sometimes I don't know what that is - no one likes to feel inadequate.  Then comes the moment I wrestle the momma bear, tiger momma that comes out in being extra protective of my son who has delays. Knowing I am constantly adjusting to what is "normal" for my son unsettles me.

And you know what?  This struggling, this wrestling is NORMAL for all of us. This isn't a solitary struggle - if you are a parent... of any child, you have this battle of balance; treating your child "normally" while understanding their uniqueness and meeting their unique needs without freaking out.

So let's walk together, picking each other up, as we walk this road of different, yet normal. "Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!" Ecclesiastes 4:9-10