Dear Mommy

Dear Mommy,

As I stare into your eyes, I want to tell you some things.  And until I can get my words underneath me, I know you will have to just guess.  And here's what I hope you've figured out:

I am so happy God placed me in your womb.  I know that I caused you fatigue and nausea and some fright at times, but you did the best you could in protecting me, nourishing me, loving me. Remember it was God who was there making each stitch in my form, adding that extra "designer gene".

He has great plans for you, Mommy, and for me and for all those who know me.  I don't know what those are yet, but because He is a good God I can trust He is weaving a wonderful story that will bring Him much glory and us good.

I know you are confused about this thing called Down Syndrome.  I don't know what it means for me either, but I know you will teach me about the things that do matter: God wonderfully fashioned me, has a plan and purpose for me and He has given me loving family and friends walk alongside me helping me achieve those things.

Don't be scared by the things you read or the things you are told about Down Syndrome.  God has already proven to us that He will bless us and in the way He sees fit.  Remember, I have healthy lungs, bowels and heart when by all indications I shouldn't?!

I know you worry about me... worry about the challenges I already face and the challenges that will come.

You want me to be the best I can be despite the delays I encounter.  Momma, your efforts already are paying off.  Please stop beating yourself up for the time you spend balancing life outside of me. I don't hold it against you - I am not the only calling on your life.  And you don't have the power to change the hurdles placed in front of me no matter how much time you have for me. Train me the best you can and when the time comes... let me run.

You worry that I will be made fun of, be bullied, be tormented for the way I look and act. Just teach me to be strong, to remember what matters and equip me to face those battles when they come.

It's okay to cry, Mommy.  I do myself and it feels better when I am done.  Just like you come to meet my needs, your Father in Heaven runs to meet yours.  He will hold you.  He will comfort you.  He will give you wisdom for what hurts.  Cry. And don't feel bad crying into one of my blankets... I know you like my sweet baby scent.

Hang in there, Mommy.  I know this journey is foreign to you but despite some of the rocky terrain, it leads to a wonderful new world many have not experienced.

Oh and just so you know... you smell good, even when everyone else doesn't think so.  I love nuzzling my nose in your clothes because I want to feel as close to you as possible.  When I get too old to bury my head in your armpit, just know I want to... because I love you and I always want to be near to you.