Turn My Head

Disabilities turn our heads.  Something unusual about someone catches our eye and then awkwardly we look away.

I've been there - thanking God that I didn't have to deal with that particular difficulty.  Now I wonder how many glances lead to that same thought as people find out my son has Down Syndrome. More and more heads will turn as Eric's disabilities become more visible.

Now, for me, it's abilities that turn my head.  I'm awkwardly looking for the usual and then catch my son's eyes, his beautiful characteristically almond shaped blue eyes.  And more and more I have to remind myself of the danger of the sidelong glance.

 "For the kingdom of heaven is like a master of a house who went out early in the morning to hire laborers for his vineyard. After agreeing with the laborers for a denarius a day, he sent them into his vineyard.  And going out about the third hour he saw others standing idle in the marketplace, and to them he said, 'You go into the vineyard too, and whatever is right I will give you.' So they went. Going out again about the sixth hour and the ninth hour, he did the same.  And about the eleventh hour he went out and found others standing. And he said to them, 'Why do you stand here idle all day?' They said to him, 'Because no one has hired us.' He said to them, 'You go into the vineyard too.' 


And when evening came, the owner of the vineyard said to his foreman, 'Call the laborers and pay them their wages, beginning with the last, up to the first.' And when those hired about the eleventh hour came, each of them received a denarius. Now when those hired first came, they thought they would receive more, but each of them also received a denarius. And on receiving it they grumbled at the master of the house, saying, 'These last worked only one hour, and you have made them equal to us who have borne the burden of the day and the scorching heat.' 


But he replied to one of them, 'Friend, I am doing you no wrong. Did you not agree with me for a denarius? Take what belongs to you and go. I choose to give to this last worker as I give to you. Am I not allowed to do what I choose with what belongs to me? Or do you begrudge my generosity?' So the last will be first, and the first last." 

~ Matthew 20:1-16

Why were the first laborers discontent?  Because they didn't guard their glances and hold their envy at bay toward the workers who worked less and got paid the same amount as them.  This also reminds me of Jesus' words in John 21:21-22.

  "When Peter saw him, he said to Jesus, "Lord, what about this man?" Jesus said to him, "If it is my will that he remain until I come, what is that to you? You follow me!" 

My amazing son Eric will have challenges and limitations.  He will draw attention. And I will have to fight my glances at other children his age.

Turn my head, dear Jesus, just to You and You alone and let the rest of the world fade away.  Eric is my gift from You, my generous reward.  What is it to me that Eric has Down Syndrome?  I want to follow You, whatever this diagnosis brings.