I Can't Do This!!!

It's been a rough week...
There are many contributing factors...
But it all started with good news.

"What?!?! How could good news play such a huge part of a rough week?" you ask.

It all began with Eric's therapy session.  The occupational therapist commented "I can sure tell you work hard with Eric, he has made such progress."  I was so thrilled to hear this - who wouldn't be?

Then I started thinking how much (or how little) I had actually been able to work with Eric.  I have really struggled to fit everything in while parenting, refereeing, educating, cooking and cleaning for a family of seven.  I started realizing how little time I have to work with Eric in comparison to how much I want to work with him.

I slipped... right there... in my thinking... and it was a downward spiral from there.  High expectations - perhaps even unrealistic ones - slapped me across the face.  Then guilt punched me in the gut.  Fear tied me in knots and helplessness took me down for the count.

I can't do this! I really can't!  It's too much!  Eric is going to suffer because I can't create a thousand more hours in the day (I know an exaggeration, but some days it really feels like I need that many).

And you know what? I really can't do it all. And that was my breakthrough moment. (Really?!?! How many times must I learn THAT lesson?)

I am not SUPPOSED to be able to do this.  I CAN'T be Supermom.  I don't have superpowers to make all the pieces fit.  And when they don't fit I realize my need... my need for a SuperHero.

Just as my son is weak, so am I.  Just as my son needs extra help, so do I.  Just as my son receives extra training to strengthen him, so do I.

The progress my son makes will not be entirely dependent on how much time I have to spend running him through his exercises.  How thankful I am for that! God is working in, on and through my son regardless of the time (or lack of) I have.

My weakness glorifies God.  My weakness shows how awesome God is.  So I will rejoice in my "damsel-in-distressedness".  I will laugh in my "chaotic-not-all-there-momness".  I will do the best I can, make changes where they can most benefit Eric and rest in knowing Eric has a SuperHero who loved him first, loves him most and truly knows what is best for him.